Waiting
by elizabeth777
Summary: A couple goes through a heart-breaking end, and realize as they are pulled apart that they need to love themselves before they can ever love each other.


Sorry if this is confusing, but the sotry will be told from 2 different points of view. John's will be bolded, and Nicole's will not be bolded. I really hope you like it!

Chapter 1

**He looked deep into her sad, hazel eyes and at her tear-stained face and he realized that if possible, he loved her more at this proximity. The imperfections of her face he did not see as flaws, because they made her seem more beautiful. He cupped his hands around her face and leaned into her, crushing his lips to hers. The kiss held something it hadn't before. A sense of loss. Of despair. He took a step back, but did not remove his hands from her soft, fragile face. He looked over every inch of her as if trying to burn it in his mind. Then, he came closer to her once again and held her in his arms, pressing her against his body. He moved his face, feeling the soft brush of her hair and whispered in her ear, "I love you. Always." Then he let her go, feeling his heart break into a million pieces.**

Ashley stood in the smae place hours after he had left. She couldn't move. The pain was too unberable. And, the fact that she had no idea how to fix it somehow made it worse. Her body ached with the need to touch him, the need to feel his heat spread through her body, healing her.

She thought back to when she was little and remembered her pet goldfish. Her mother had given it to her as a present. She had always wanted a pet. Then she got her goldfish, the single being who had hold all her love such a long time ago. She constantly looked after it, nourishing, caring and loving. Thinking back, maybe she cared for it too much. It died days after she had been given it.

She remembered how heart-broken she had been. Her mother, the simple person she was, had just said, "You can't fix everything, darling." And now, she felt the same helplessness she had back then. The same guilt, the feelings that were working their way through her insides, burning and killing whatever they touched.

Not knowing what else to do, she fell back against the fall, continuing to tell herself she did the right thing. Her body defied her. Her body wanted John, and it wanted all of John. It held on to the memory from mear hours ago, the impression of his body that had been left with her when he had held her. The feel of his arms, his chest, his breath, they were all over her. She could still remember, still feel his rib-cage rising and falling with every even breath he took. She had felt the strain in him, and she had known he was holding back tears. She remembered the steady beat of his heart, and its pulse comforted her.

She let her heavy head, holding her heavy consience, fall into her hands. She knew it was over now. She had said the words that sent him away. The sentences that made him believe she didn't love him anymore, and in some way, the sentences that made her believe it too. Then, there was another part of her mind, the one that controlled common sense, and the one that told her she would never stop loving John. Even if that is the truth, she thought, it's just easier this way. A clean cut, no damage done.

She thought about that for a minute. The more she thought, the more she wondered how something that was supposed to save them pain, did quite the opposite to her.

**John stood on Ashley's front step, the moonlight fighting it's way through the trees, casting shadows upon him. As he shut her door firmly behind him, he felt pieces of him tear away, lost with her forever. The sense of loss he felt at this moment, this singular second in time was one of the greatest he felt possible. His energy, his hope, his love, had been drained from him. He felt useless. Unbearably broken.**

**He stepped away from her house, turning as he did to stare at the house, thinking of what was in it. Was Nicole feeling the same gut-wrenching pain he was? Did she care about him anymore? Had the words she uttered been lies? Was she really that good of a liar?**

**John stared, his eyes filling with tears. The image became blurred, impossible to see. He blinked at the tears, but they stayed, relentlessly taunting him. He backed slowly away from this space, the space that held so many memories that would rip him to shreads. he quickened his pace, and soon enough, he was running backwards, away from the house, from her.**

**In seconds, he was in danger. In his attempt to back away from the space that held his tortured feelings, he had unwillingly stepped to the middle of the road. A truck came for him, seeming to speed up, but John knew that wasn't happeneing. For a split second, he stood there. Then, his mind pulled him from his thoughts, allowing him to realize with horror how close the truck had gotten. Guiltily, he pulled himself to the side of the road, ashamed for thinking such thoughts.**

**The truck passed by, whisper-close to his body. He stared at the truck, moving farther into the distance. As it rounded the corner, he had a painful thought as he realized he would have rather died minutes ago than have to live one more minute without Nicole. **


End file.
